Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
