just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
