I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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