So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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