Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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