why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
