They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
