I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
