Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
