I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
