she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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