then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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