What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
