I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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