I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
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I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
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You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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