you guys were way drunker than both of me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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