So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
