i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
