Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize