wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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