Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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