i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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