Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
