If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pants are for mortals
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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