it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
