Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
