I want to have your abortion
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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