I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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