You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Panties = found
Randomize
