Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
