Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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