oh god the rape fog is back!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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