Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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