He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
