How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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