You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
