Got a toothbrush?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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