32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
