"it" just moved
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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