Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That reminds me...we need to get swords
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
