So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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