He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
