it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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