a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
