I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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