then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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