I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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