We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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