Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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