I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
