Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
