Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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