If that was your dad, he is hot
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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