My Higher Power is John Stamos
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
