Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize