I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
