No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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