I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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