This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
