i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
