I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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