Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
