The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
