yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
