Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
