He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
