well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
