Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
