i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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