I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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